Jace's Puzzle Tutatorial

Puzzle NAME Reveal Fundraiser

OK everyone, we are ready to reveal our son's name......but let's have some fun with this! We have had a photo puzzle made from a current picture from his update and have had his name printed on the puzzle. This completed puzzle, will be hung in a clear frame front and back, to display all the wonderful friends and family that helped contribute towards bringing our son HOME.

SO HOW DO YOU PLAY: Sponsor a puzzle piece for $10. or multiple pieces, to get your name written on the back of that puzzle piece(s). You can PayPal me your sponsor amount/#puzzle pieces, and in the comments of your paypal transaction write your message you would like written on the back of your pieces. (Otherwise we can just sign your name on the back of the puzzle piece😊)
PayPal acct: WaldmanAdoption@hotmail.com
(or feel free to use the AdoptTogether link to the side of the pg.)

Join in the fun, and let's put this 300 piece puzzle together!
I will post pics often so you can all see the puzzle coming together and his precious picture and name being revealed before your virtual eyes.
Feel free to share this fundraiser/post on your timeline's or in email for increased opportunities to complete our puzzle and share our story.

Thanks,
The Waldman Craighead Family

Update On Our Son

Sorry it has taken me awhile to write something, but as you have all probably noticed, we have been keeping quite busy.  I'm excited to share with you all an update we received on our son!  Once we have been given permission from China to pursue adopting our son, and that he was in fact matched with us, then you are allowed to request an update from the orphanage asking any developmental or medical questions you may have.  It's important that you think these questions through and make the most of the questions because it could be the only update you receive the entire wait and adoption process.  So these are some of the following questions we asked and answers we received:
1) We asked for a copy of his labs, or most recent.  But they did not provide any, and only commented that the hospitals are having a blood shortage now. He was to be going for blood the next week, and they would try to get a blood test done.  (haven't received anything  :( and likely will not  )
2) They report he is being transfused every 1-1.5 months. (which is actually impressive for China, if true?)
3) He has not been started on any chelation medications.  (Not surprising given his age, and in China.  However once home, he will be started on chelation medications in order to decrease his iron overload in his organs from the frequent transfusions.)
4) He is generally not sick, except for an occasional cold.
5) When he was found, was there a note left with him or a personal belonging?
They responded that a note was left with him, and that they would send a picture of it, but I have not received that?  I'm dying to know what was written on the note......my guess is, it would be his birthdate?  We will see?
6) Food likes and dislikes?
He likes round crackers.  Likes most food and has a good appetite.  (I hope that means he is going to be a good eater like Lanzi is......YES! 👏 )
7) What does he like to do or play with (favorite toy)?
Sometimes he is not energetic, so will just play on rocking horse.  When he is feeling energetic, then he likes to go outside and play on the slide.
8) How is his emotional development?  Who is he closest to in the orphanage?
Normal.  He is close to the "grandmother" who takes care of him.  (the grandmother in an orphanage is what they may call an older woman that cares for the children)
9) What gives him comfort when he is upset?
Give him some snacks.
10) What is his personality like in detail?
He is very easy going and well behaved.
11) How are his social skills?  Does he get along well with other children and adults?
Very happy.
12) How is his mental ability compared to his peers?
Normal
13) What words can he say, or does he speak in 2-3 word sentences?
Good for orphanage kids, can say 3-word sentence like "Hi, Ayi."
14) Not potty trained yet.
15) Is not in any schooling yet.
16) What does he eat?  Can he feed himself?  Does he feed himself with a spoon or a bottle?
He eats with a spoon and drinks with a bottle.
17) Does he speak Madarin or Cantonese?
Both  (Tingzi and Lanzi both were from provinces that spoke Mandarin)
18) What is his gross motor development like?
He cannot walk by himself yet.  The Ayi holds his hand to walk.
19) What is his fine motor development like?
Normal
20) Updated measurements and weight:
height 80cm (2ft 7),  weight 10kg (22 lbs),  head 46cm,  chest 46cm,  foot 13cm (size 6-7?),  20 teeth
21)  Is there anything else you think the family should know about this child?
He needs blood transfusion.  (lol OK, thanks!  It's true, quite a bit can and is lost through translation. lol)

So we were very pleased with this update to say the least.  There were no surprises, and we felt he was holding his own medically as well.  It would have been really nice to have received his current hemoglobin level. But if he is being transfused every 1.5-2 months, then we just need to continue to pray for his health and wellness to maintain while he waits for us to get there to him.

Our family has really been tossing around different ideas for our son's name.  But now that we had received the update, it really helped us finally decide on his name.  I know a lot of you have been asking if he had a name yet?  Well we plan to disclose his name in a fun way!  We are going to reveal his name in our next puzzle fundraiser.

Our Adoption Story

I thought it might be nice to share with you a little of Doug and I’s hearts, why we are so passionate for these orphans, and have made the decisions we have.  Some of you friends have been with us since the year 2011 when our little family was faced with a crossroads. But many of you, I have had the pleasure of getting to know you and your families or been reconnected with old friends through social media, since this time.  I will try to give you the cliff note version, but a whole lot of living and moments have shaped Doug and I to the point at which we are today. Do you ever reflect back on your own life, and see a couple significant life events that you know were instrumental in shaping who you are today?  I definitely can name a couple within my life!  (but that could be a whole other blog post ☺) 

Doug and I got a late start in our lives together as husband and wife, and therefore started having our family late as well.  We were blessed with one biological son, but after Jace, we struggled with fertility.  After a year and a half of failed fertility treatments and two miscarriages, we decided to stop turning to man and medicine to help us conceive and give it to God.  That’s when things really changed for us.  We ended up getting pregnant to our surprise and almost disbelief, but this pregnancy was not a normal pregnancy story……

At the 18wk ultrasound the maternal fetal medicine specialist saw a small hole in her heart and was slightly concerned.  He did not suspect a chromosomal abnormality because he didn’t see any other markers that would suggest it.  But he recommended an amniocentesis to rule it out.  He encouraged me that if it was just a hole in the heart, we could seek prenatal care and be better prepared for when she was born.  That is all I needed to hear.  We would fix it and she would be OK.

Two long days later I got the call from the genetic counselor that my quick test had come back a definitive chromosomal abnormality- Trisomy 18.  “I’m so sorry, Denise.” she said.  My heart sunk.  ”What does that mean?” I said.  She explained that it was a very rare chromosomal abnormality that occurred only 1/5,000.  It was more prevalent in older mothers, but not a genetic connection between my husband and me.  It just happens sometimes.  She said this chromosomal abnormality was different than all others in that it was incompatible with life.  I remember, I just dropped and started wailing.  Not again!  I asked her if it could be wrong?  Was there a chance that the final results which were due back in two weeks would say something different?  She explained that there were some Trisomy 18’s that were mosaics and they could live, but a much-shortened life expectancy and multiple medical difficulties. She said that my baby was most likely NOT one of these.  At this time, I bartered with God.  I would do anything for my child to have Down’s syndrome, Spina Bifida, but not “incompatible with life!”  The counselor told me she would most likely not make it to term and I would miscarry.  “You have the choice to terminate this pregnancy,” she said to me. “What does that mean terminate my pregnancy?  How does that work?  Is that abortion?”  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be faced with this decision.  

I am an Occupational Therapist, so I work in healthcare.  I see large amounts of money spent on medical care.  I have had very strong convictions about quality of life and end of life decisions when it comes to the elderly and for my own father after his closed head injury.  But now I was faced with a decision with the opposite spectrum of life, and OUR child that we so desperately wanted.  I worried over the vast medical problems and expenses we would accrue if she did make it to term and delivery.  The medical expenses and care she would most likely require if she did live past birth would be great.  My husband and I sought counsel from our Christian friends.  Fortunately, I only waivered and wrestled with Satan on this for about a week.  Once Doug and I decided to see this out and put it in God’s hands a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.  A good friend of mine told me, “Denise you were chosen to carry this baby.  God has a plan for you and her life.  If you close this door, you won’t allow Him to show his works and maybe make a miracle.”  This resonated with me my entire pregnancy and still does today. 

Throughout the pregnancy, I never regretted the decision to carry Ayla, and the Lord gave us the grace to handle the hard twists and turns.  She was not supposed to make it to term but defied the Dr’s every step of the way!  She was a very strong little girl.  I think every two weeks when I went to my Dr’s appointment and they still heard the heartbeat they were surprised.  They prepared us that only 50% make it through the delivery alive.  And if she did we would most likely only have a couple hours with her.  So, we made every preparation to be prepared for every second we might have with her.  During my pregnancy, we picked out and bought her plot.  We planned her graveside burial.  I lined up a seamstress to make Ayla a dress to be buried in out of my wedding gown.  We contacted a volunteer organization that photographs stillborn infants (NLMTDS) to be there and take pictures when I delivered.  I needed to be prepared.  I mean how often do we have to try and capture a lifetime of moments into possibly only seconds or a couple hours.

The doctors let me go 41 wks. because they wanted me to go into labor naturally.  They wanted to avoid having to do a C-section if at all possible because I would want to be awake and coherent for when she was born if I was only going to have minutes or hrs. with her alive.  I ended up having to be induced, October 13, 2011 (3 days after my 40^th birthday) but it went quickly.  I think every nurse from the floor, the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), students and even my genetic counselor were present for the delivery.   But I didn’t care – she was born ALIVE and looked perfect!  Two of the NICU doctors said, had they not been told she was Trisomy 18, they would have never suspected.  She was beautiful!  She was perfect to us!  Her life had value.

She was strong considering her chromosomal differences.  Her O2 saturations and heart rate were not normal but were as suspected for an infant with a significant Ventricular Septum Defect (VSD).  We spent a week in the NICU where they taught us how to feed her through a nasogastric tube, perform suctioning, read her monitors, learn positioning for her optimal feeding and breathing- prepared us as best they could to take her home.  We never thought or had been prepared that we would be going home with her!  The medical staff just kept telling us to “live in the moment” as best we could because we did not know how long we were going to have with her.  Family and friends all scrambled to help get our home and supplies ready to bring our little miracle home.  We set up in our family room because that had the most room for her monitors, O2 concentrator, suction machine and couches for us and family to sleep on.  Ayla required 24hr care but nobody minded.  We took shifts after a while.   Every day was a celebration of another blessed day with our Sweet Ayla.  Oh, we had our scares, complications, and hospitalizations but I would have gladly cared for her the rest of my life had it been in God’s plan, but it wasn’t.  The Lord blessed us beyond ours and doctors’ expectations, she lived for 2 ½ months.  She was with us for Christmas and Thanksgiving.  Ayla passed away in my arms at home 7:00am December 30, 2011.  

Ayla touched so many lives in her short time here on earth.  I know my family and friends that had the privilege of meeting her are forever changed because of her.  We did everything we could to give her life honor and quality that she deserved.  And we would have continued to do whatever it took had it been in God’s plan 

Ayla showed Doug and me about the depth and magnitude of our love and role as parents.  We have so much to give.  I thank God every day for my wonderful husband and my beautiful family.  I can even thank God for blessing us with Ayla.  It is because of her, our heaven-sent angel, that Doug and I then decided to look into adoption- special needs adoption.  And look at us NOW!  Reflecting back now in 2017, our first adoption with Tingzi (2013) was such a “magical” and miraculous process.  We had a wonderful adoption journey and experience in country.  I remember when they placed that beautiful baby girl in my arms, I just wept.  I felt so grateful and even rewarded for my obedience to Him with Ayla.  We visited her orphanage, walked the streets of her province.  Once we smelled the smells, experienced their culture, tasted their foods, saw the people and how they live as compared to us in the US- we could never forget. We don’t want to ever forget! After all, a piece of our hearts is in China now because we have been blessed with the gift of our daughter Tingzi.  We will never forget the site of the orphanage and all the children so desperate for attention and in need of medical interventions.  We wanted to do more!  We had not even left China, and I remember telling our guide we would be back if at all possible to adopt again.  A year after being home with Tingzi, we decided we were ready to start the process again.  Our second adoption was with a different placing agency than our first.  The experience was different but still remarkable and we were matched with another beautiful girl, Lanzi.  These girls have just blended into our family rather seamlessly and our love for them is as great as if I had given birth to them.  The three of them all quarrel like biological siblings would.  They also have some of the most tender moments that Doug and I will exchange glances with each other as to say, “this is why we did this.”  And to think that these two beautiful girls were orphans.  Their parents had to do the unthinkable sacrifice and abandon their child so they might have a better life or even a chance at life.  My heart just aches for their Mother.  I can’t even comprehend such a decision.  I hope somehow, she knows her child is loved and adored beyond measure.  And we are the blessed ones to be able to love and watch these precious children grow.  

Our life is busy with three children and Doug and I both working full time jobs.  I can’t say that after this second adoption, that we planned on adopting again.  People would ask me or my family if we were going to adopt again and I would simply respond, “I learned a long time ago to never say never, but I very much doubt it.”  My social network has grown since our first adoption in 2013.  The adoption community on social media is very large and a very supportive group.  Advocates post about waiting children multiple times a day.  I have always clicked and read about some and others just followed the thread of comments/inquiries.  In January, I saw the advocacy post of our little boy in the waiting child group.  Of course, I thought he was precious and even captivating to ME; so I “liked” the post so I could follow all the thread of comments.  Really didn’t think much more to this at this time…. he was with a different placing agency than mine, and again we had not planned or were not looking to adopt again.  Weeks passed.  I can’t really explain it, but I kept thinking about him, and checking to see what people were commenting/asking about him.  After a couple months, I finally strummed up enough courage to request reviewing the file.  Upon reviewing the file, I thought “we could do this!” I noticed his birthdate was in October.  (I thought……. what if his birthdate was the same as Ayla’s…?)  I started researching his medical condition, called another Mom of a child adopted from China with Thalassemia.  Why was I doing all this, if we had NO intentions of adopting again?  I called our insurance company, pharmaceutical company, and local children’s hospital to get his file reviewed.  Everything was lining up, and feeling very do-able for our family.  I let the agency he was with know that we were seriously interested in moving forward with him if they would transfer his file to our agency.  But they said “No” at this time due to the fact that there were other families from their agency that had expressed interest in him too.  Transferring files does not happen too often between agencies.  So, I knew I was asking a lot from them, but it is done in some circumstances.  As I had been researching his condition and our resources for his care, I had been praying for clarity in thinking as to whether we were being called to adopt again.  But now my prayer changed to “If this was our son and He wanted him in OUR family, that He would continue to open the doors and make a way for his file to be transferred.”  Skipping ahead a couple months and leaving out some details……., we had been told “No, not at this time”, a couple more times.  Then only two days after my fourth “No,” I got a call and an email from my agency telling me they had the file and to call them immediately.  What!?!?!  They have the file!  They transferred his file to us?  Things just got real, really QUICK!  I of course called my agency back to hear about how/why the transfer took place.  She told me that China had only given them/us the file for 48hrs, and we must submit Letter of Intent for him within that time or his file will be returned to the original agency.  As she was telling me this over the phone, I was sitting in my car in a parking lot and the song “This Is Home” by Switchfoot was playing on the radio.  (I am not making this up) Those of us in the adoption community know what a popular and beautiful song this is about adoption.  We even used it in Lanzi’s adoption video that Doug made.  My caseworker apologized for us having to make such a hasty decision, and asked if we really were ready to do this.  I couldn’t help but share with her the song that was playing in the background as she was talking to me.  Well if this song and the transferring of his file weren’t signs and ‘open doors’ from God, I’m not sure what is!   I said, “YES, let’s bring him HOME!”  

Doug and I feel as though we have been being shaped and pruned for this path less traveled, all along! We have been stretched in our comfort levels of medical needs that we feel as a family we can take on, and our idea of FAMILY and what that looks like and how we live is different now than when we first got married.  (John 14:18) “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  (Isaiah 6:8) “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’  And I said, ‘Here am I.  Send ME.’”

Son, now that we found you, you are not alone- baby “This Is HOME” ………

How You Can Help

1) Pray for a smooth adoption process.  Pray for our son's health while he waits for us to come bring him home.  Pray for financial provision for the completion of this adoption!

2) "Share" our story and posts with your family and friends, frequently, to help touch others that might want to be a part of our adoption journey.

3) Join our FB group "This is HOME" - Son, right where you belong.  Follow and actively engage in contributing (donations, fundraisers, etc.) to help bring our son home.  We need our Village to help us bring him HOME!

We are honored and humbled in your part of this adoption story 💟

Our Son's Special Needs

Our Son's Special Needs

"Special Needs" means a lot of different things to different people. I would like to take this time to share a little bit about our precious son. This is our third international adoption from China, special needs. And I can tell you each adoption process as well as each of my children's secondary needs or medical conditions are different. My son's primary NEED, is to have a FAMILY that he can call his own. A family that he can count on to tuck him in every night, and greet him every morning with a loving "Good morning Sunshine!" Siblings to play with and grow up with as his best friends. Parents to meet his every daily need as well as hold his hand through every medical procedure and course of treatment. Our son's secondary condition and medical need is treatment for Beta Thalassemia Major. Thalassemia is a genetic blood disorder. Thalassemia is not a single disorder but a group of related disorders that affect the body in similar ways. Hemoglobin is the oxygen carrying component of our red blood cells. It consists of two different proteins, alpha and beta. If the body does not produce enough of either of these proteins, the red blood cells will not form properly and cannot carry sufficient oxygen. The result is anemia that begins in early childhood and lasts throughout their life. This blood disorder is 1 in 200,000 in the US. Beta Thalassemia is found in people of Mediterranean descent, such as Italians and Greeks, and is also found in the Arabian Peninsula, Iran, Africa, Southeast Asia, southern China. There are three types of Beta Thalassemia that also range from mild to severe in their effect on the body. And our son has the severe form, Major or Cooley's Anemia. This means his body has a complete lack of beta protein in the hemoglobin causing life threatening anemia that requires regular blood transfusions and extensive lifelong medical care. Lifelong transfusions lead to iron-overload which must be treated with chelation therapy to prevent early death from organ failure. Many toddlers with Thalassemia are abandoned in China because their families cannot afford to give their child the medical care that they need to survive. These families do not want to give up their child, but fear it is the only chance for them to get medical care, and a chance to be internationally adopted by a family that has access to healthcare and can receive regular transfusions. The orphanages in China do their best to transfuse these children, but it is still not to the frequency that our standards of care in the US would recommend. There is a shortage of blood supply in China. It is nothing for individuals/families to wait 5-8 hours to see a Dr. in a hospital. The longer these children live in the orphanage and are inadequately transfused and not on chelation therapy drugs, their organs begin to suffer from iron overload and become damaged. Many will die by their teens or early twenties if not adopted. We are so fortunate to live in the US, and have the access to good healthcare that we do. In the US, this lifelong condition is manageable. Individuals can live a good quality of life if they are compliant with their treatment. 

This is our son, who happens to have Thalassemia! We embrace his medical condition and look forward to navigating and providing the best medical care for him. He will never have to be transfused again, ALONE. He will always have his Mommy or Daddy beside him holding his little hand. We are already gathering a team of medical professionals and specialists to give him the best comprehensive care, so he can live a productive and healthy life with our family. (I have included a cute little youtube video, that is just a great, simple explanation of what it's like living with Thalassemia from a child's perspective.)  

Thank you again for being a part of this journey of love, and helping us bring our son home! Your support means the world to us, and is helping give this child a chance at life.

We have BIG news!

We are adopting again from China.  We have a son that is waiting for us to bring him HOME! 

We weren't exactly planning on adopting again, but the Lord has plans for our family that are greater than we could ever imagine. And when I saw our sweet boys face on the waiting child list-I could not forget those eyes.  Every day I thought about him, could see those eyes, and started praying about him.  He waited for months and months, and I was surprised nobody had moved forward to bring him home.  I finally strummed up enough nerve to request to review his file.  Our son (to which we still need to come up with a name) has a medical condition that is lifelong. While this is very scary to many families, I thought this is something we as a family could certainly handle.  As a matter of fact we want to handle it! - we can give him the medical care that his body needs and the love of a family he deserves.  As weeks continued to pass, we researched his condition, spoke with specialists, and all the while asking God that if he was in fact our son to "open the necessary doors" to allow us to adopt him.  And if this was NOT the plan for our family, to "close those doors."  Almost five months from when I first saw his face, his file was transferred to our agency for us to move forward and adopt him as our son! 

As part of our adoption process, we have started a crowdfunding campaign. It may surprise you to hear that adoption related costs can easily total up to $35,000 and more. This is why we have set a goal of $30,000 to help ease the financial burden that often overwhelms adoptive parents.

We hope that by inviting you into this process, you will see yourself as part of the community that we hope to build around our child as we work towards bringing him home so he can get the medical care that he needs, and the love of a family to call his own.  So please join us on this journey of love.  You will undoubtedly be blessed if you do so, and you will also be a part of making a difference in this child's LIFE.