CHOSEN

Ming is HOME, right where he belongs! 💙 He now is a brother to two sisters that adore him, and an older brother that will protect him.  He is a son, to a Mommy and a Daddy that love him unconditionally.  I can't express how blessed we feel to have been able to complete the adoption of Ming, and make him part of our family.
I know I have not written a blog post since before we left for China, and that is because life has been a bit of a FLASH since we left.  We chronicled all the details and travels in our FB travel group.  So for those of you that are on FB, and were not already seeing our posts and want to catch up- feel free to private message me and I would be happy to add you to the closed group.  I will be honest, this Mama does not have the time to write eloquent blog posts now that we are a family of six, and I will be returning to my full-time job in another week.  :{  But I did want to at least make one more blog post to sort of give you the cliff notes on happenings since we have been home.  Above is our first family photo when we arrived at the airport Dec. 1, 2017.💝
It definitely was the right decision to take Jace along with us to China to meet his little brother for the first time.  The boys have a very special bond, and it just melts my heart to see that protective and sensitive side of Jace.  Ming is such a precious little boy.  He really has adjusted quite well, and is attaching to Doug and I beautifully.  He still is learning to accept the love of his doding sisters, but that will come.  As any international adoption, when you return to the states you have a plethora of comprehensive medical appointments to test for EVERYTHING, establish baselines, and essentially catch them up developmentally.  We have been doing all that in addition to getting his Thalassemia management/treatment started at our local children's hospital. 

Unfortunately we got off to a bit of a rocky start with Ming's transfusions.  His very first transfusion with us here in the US, he suffered an anaphylactic reaction to the blood he received. 😱😭 This reaction gained him, his first hospital admission!😩  Oh my poor boy! Why did this happen to you?   I cannot even write all the complex emotions I felt, and heightened discussions that were had between me and Ming’s medical team surrounding this situation and the future of his treatment.
Then only a week later, as if this wasn't enough trauma for our little guy, he was lucky enough to catch one of the worst viruses of this cold and flu season.  He was unable to fight it on his own and went into respiratory failure, and ANOTHER hospital stay.  This time in the PICU! 💔

One of the days while we were in the PICU, as our Dr. rounded and we were discussing the sequence of events and complications, he made the crass statement, "Welcome to America, Ming!"  Part of my crass sense of humor I might even joke about this later someday, but given the current state of affairs when I myself am trying to sort through the complexities of his proper treatment and ensure he is getting it, and dealing with the guilt/sorrow/fear that I was feeling around all this- Mama didn't share the same sense of humor this time.  😠
Part of the research phase before committing to proceed to adopt Ming, Doug and I researched his condition, it's treatment, what we could provide and the resources we had accessible to us, and collaborated with other families of children living with Thal. We were advised and planned to go to one of 7 leading Thalassemia centers in the US this Summer to have Ming evaluated and make recommendations for our local hematology team to follow.  Given Ming's volatile medical start in the first 2 months of him being home, we now have an appointment in Atlanta, GA on Feb. 1st. for his evaluation.  We can't wait!  Ming needs the expertise of this center to establish a protocol/plan for his management of his condition.  The decisions that are made NOW and monthly will affect the quality and longevity of his life.
I can't tell you how many individuals have asked me upon meeting us (usually in the hospital or a healthcare worker), "Did you know he had this condition when you sought out to adopt him?"  That question sort of stirs up a variety of emotions and even memories.  I am quick to respond an assuring, "Yes we did, and we accept the full responsibility of his care whatever that may be in his future.  He is our son."  A lot of you probably don't even know how our path with our family changed some 6yrs. ago.  Doug and I had a beautiful little girl, born with Trisomy 18.  A chromosomal abnormality that is "not compatible with life."  We were blessed to have been able to carry her to full term, give birth to her ALIVE, and even take her home for 2 and a half months of her LIFE.  She required 24 hr care.  She had to be fed through a tube in her nose, suctioned.  She was on O2 and hooked up to heart and O2 monitors beeping at all times of the day/night.  When the NICU team sent us home, we were sent home with a red DNRCC card that I was to show the ambulance or any Dr when they arrive at my home or hospital because she had passed.  I still have this haunting piece of paper that was so confusing and contradictory to my every fiber of being.  I couldn't understand that there was No-One that could help her.  No-One that would take the chance in surgery at repairing her very broken little heart.  I felt as though I had no voice.  EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE medical that I came in contact with or sought out for another opinion told me the best thing was to put it in God's hands because they would do more harm and shorten her unknown amount of time by trying to intervene medically.  So Palliative Care was involved with us and we just tried to live every second, hour and day as if it might be our last.  This holiday season was very special to Doug and me to have everyone home and well again.  You see, Ayla died in my arms, at home on December 30, 2011.  When Ming had to go through some of the medical interventions that he did over the past 2 hospital admissions, there were quite a few triggers if you will, that reminded Doug and I of our time with Ayla.  You will have to forgive me for my digression- I know that medically, Ming is very different than our Ayla was.  You see I am not the least bit bitter about our time with Ayla.  It was the most beautiful and life changing time/season in our life, and for that I am thankful.  It is because of her that we chose to look into adopting internationally, and children with special needs.  I believe that the Lord has blessed us with these beautiful children because of our obedience to Him for carrying her and giving her life dignity and a chance for a miracle.  While I maybe felt like I had no voice with her medical care, and she was "not compatible with life."  In our short time with her she taught me so much about having HOPE, and by believing in HOPE- our FAITH grew.  It's that FAITH that has driven me, and He has blessed us beyond measure!  So yes, we CHOSE Ming, and would a 100x over!  We accept him as he is.  He is not broken.  He is just perfect!  Perfectly made as God intended him to be.  We love him and will care for him in sickness and in health just as all of our children.  We have been groomed for this, and feel honored that the Lord has entrusted Doug and me with his care.  We are the lucky ones being blessed by getting a front row seat to see all the great things he is going to do and the people he is going to touch in his lifetime.
So thank you Village for being a part of Ming's story.  We would not have this precious little boy HOME with us if it wasn't for each one of you and your acts of kindness and graciousness.  Thank you, to all the wonderful grant organizations that believed in our family and wanted to help us bring Ming home!  Families like ours, need organizations, friends and family such as each of you to gather around us and help us tackle the overwhelming financial burden and emotional rollercoaster that adoption is.  You have made a difference in THIS child's life, and I hope you have in some way been touched by your part and the impact it has had on changing the course of his life.  Ming now has HOPE, and a chance at life.  His story is really still so young and new.  Sure times may be tough, and it is a steep learning curve right now.  But the Lord doesn't call us to simple and easy things.  I believe that the greater the risk, the greater the potential reward.  The hope, love, and healing that adoption can bring to ALL involved is worth the risk.  Love is always worth the risk!  Our children are worth the risk.  Love may not be able to change everything, but it is the strongest human desire that gives HOPE.  And a life with HOPE and FAITH has PURPOSE, and is worth living for.

Birthday Wishes

Tomorrow, Oct. 23rd is our Ming Ming's 3rd birthday!  We asked that a birthday cake and goodies be sent to him that he could share with his friends and Ayi's to celebrate his birthday.  And can you imagine our excitement when we awoke Friday am to this sweet picture!!!!😍  Oh sweet boy this will be the last birthday you will have to spend alone without a family to call your own.  I wish you could know that you have a wild and crazy family that is celebrating you and your 3rd birthday, clear across the other side of the world.🎂  And as an adoptive parent, I can't help but think about his biological parents on this day.  Do they still remember this day and wonder if he is safe or if they made the right decision????  I pray that they may feel an unexplainable peace, and know that their little boy is being cared for.  He is getting transfused.  And he has a family that is rushing to meet him and bring him home!  I wish for them on this birthday, that they could know that Doug and I PROMISE to to give him the best medical care and life that we can provide, and that their son is already adored and treasured beyond measure.💙

Adoption Process Update:
WOW! It has been a whirlwind of a week!  But a GOOD whirlwind-lol lol  Finally our Letter of Acceptance from China was approved.  So I instantly, I emailed that to our officer USCIS, and she so kindly approved it the next day!  So Monday it is being routed to the NVC so we can get our GUZ#.  These last steps I predict are going to happen very quickly since we have been trying to medically expedite things.  This is awesome, exciting, and what is best for our MingMing; but it is also very stressful in bringing it all together and preparing for travel.  International adoption is strange, it takes so long, and there is so much waiting.  Then BOOM💥 it just takes off!  I liken the build up of emotions towards the end of the process to riding a roller coaster.  Do you remember what your stomach feels like when you are waiting in winding line to getting ready to board the ride?  Then you finally get in your car and latch the safety bar down.  You are so excited and anxious, but also a little afraid of what the ride is going to be ahead of you.  There's no turning back now!  You can't get off the ride once it starts.  The roller coaster cars go around a couple turns whipping you to and fro and then.... they start ratcheting up the long and HUGE hill.......  Well, we have been ratcheting up that BIG hill for a little over a month now.  Last Friday we reached the top of the hill and now it feels like we are racing down that first huge hill!  It's so exciting and a relief, but at the same time still scary and unsure of what lies around the next turn.  By no means do I mean to minimize the profound and very serious state of adoption, but merely am trying to help paint a picture of just some of the emotions and their intensity that is associated with different stages of the adoption process.  So if you see me looking a little dazed and confused, please extend me some grace and know that my mind has a 100,000 things on it right now.  And my heart is already in China!  Many of you have been asking us, WHEN we think we will be traveling to bring him home?  I had been predicting middle to end of Dec., but NOWwwww it's looking more like it could be the end of Nov.!!!!!  EEEeekkk!  I think I lit a fire under my husband's butt this weekend! When I pointed out just how quickly the remaining steps may go and possible travel times, he looked at me and said, "Well I need to get ready and start planning!  Oh my goodness, we have a lot to do before then and how are we going to come up with the remaining amount of $!"  😛  Really!?!? (I thought to myself😡)  But seriously, it probably is best that he is the mellow laid back one- because if we were both as intense and anxious as I have been for the past month worrying about things- we probably would be at each other's throats.  He does keep me grounded and really is trying to help where he can because he knows that from now until we leave for China is likely to be stressful on the entire family.  So please continue to keep our family and the adoption process in your prayers right now. 
Fortunately we did receive 2 grants in the past couple months.  So we are so thankful for those.  I still have 3 more out there that I have not heard whether we will be granted or denied.  We really need these grants to come through, and before we travel.  We also received a wonderful donation from a young man that does not even personally know us, but his sister shared our story with him and he has a special place in his heart for children and was willing to help us.  We were so awestruck and moved that a stranger to us, would bless us in this way.  Believe me, I thank Jesus everytime He shows His hand in this process, and I know that He is using each one of you to also be blessed by this adoption.  I am ashamed and burdened that a huge part of the stress right now is NOT having the $ in the bank right now, to allow us to complete this adoption.  I keep reminding myself though that HE has this!  In fact he is ahead of us and has prepared a way (I just don't know what or where that is right now😖!)  This is where my faith is definitely challenged and stretched! 
So please continue to share our story with your friends and family.  It's time to start gathering up our village again.  We're going to make 1 last order of our T-shirt sales.  Our AdoptTogether site and PayPal link is always up and running for those that are able and led to contribute towards our adoption.  Let's get MingMing home!  Who knows we may all be giving thanks this Thanksgiving over in China. I may be holding a precious little boy and giving thanks that we are blessed enough to get to be his family! 

Awesome Auction

Hello Everyone,
While most of you are likely getting your beauty rest.....I am burning the midnight oil.💤  When you have little ones, the only time I can write things, work on adoption paperwork, etc. is after they are asleep!  I just got done applying for another grant.😣  And I have another one sitting here beside me on the desk that I need to get done, but it's not going to be tonight.  Too tired and then I make stupid mistakes.  Unfortunately, the day after our auction had ended I received an email that we were denied one of the grants that I had previously applied for.  That is so disheartening when that happens.  But that is also the way applying for grants goes.  I heard or read somewhere that for every 10 grants you apply for, you may only get 3.  And that is why friends, I am still applying for more!!!!!
Thankfully our online auction was a HUGE success everyone!  What an exciting and unexpected surprise, and you all did that!!!!!  I can't thank all the individuals enough that graciously donated items to be auctioned off.  And then you bidders.....well that was fun to watch!  I hope you all had a good time with it as well.  Your winning bids are definitely blessing our adoption.  For those of you that have items from me, I hope to have them ready to ship out Monday or Tuesday this week.  

Oh and the 2nd T-shirt order was submitted last week too, for those of you that had ordered.

Adoption Process Update:
All of our documents have been logged into China since 9/5.  There they were being translated and have now moved into review.  Once they were all sent to China, we did ask for favor if China would consider expediting Ming's case.  Unfortunately China said no.  Their take on it was that he was receiving transfusions therefore not dying or medically frail. So my agency asked me to get ANOTHER letter from Aflac Cancer and Blood Disorders Center of The Children's Healthcare of Atlanta explaining/education about the recommended treatment (which he is not getting), chelation management (not given in China), and potential organ and neurological risks/side effects when not being treated and managed properly.  (It was a very impressive letter by the way!  I can't wait to meet this nurse there and get to work with these leading specialists in Thalassemia.)  My agency was hoping to share this additional letter and plead our case to the Dr at the orphanage and ask them to speak with the CCCWA again.  I have not heard anything since this time, so if I don't see our LOA by the end of this week- then no expedite is being done on their side.😠  So pray for a speedy LOA (letter of acceptance).  This is what we need next from China in order to move to the next step(I800).  It is getting so much closer everyone........I'm starting to feel anxious about just how close it really is!
A couple people have asked me, "Aren't you afraid?"  I think they usually are referring to his medical condition or the stage of politics between our countries.....?  My response is usually, "No, I'm really not."  But if I am totally honest......., my #1 fear is coming up with the finances to complete this adoption.  Sad isn't it?  I wouldn't be feeling as anxious or stressed if it wasn't for that burden that I am carrying. But I have faith He has led us to this boy, our son; and HE will make a way.  I'm not sure what it is right now, but I also never would have thought that you all would have rallied around us to complete our puzzle fundraiser or this online auction as you did!  So thank you village.  You are amazing, and we are humbled and honored to be able to share our journey with you all.  Thank you for believing in us, and wanting to be a part of this special little boy's story.💙

I know there was some other things I wanted to update you on, but right now I'm drawing a blank💭
Ming's 3rd birthday is coming up here in October, so I'm working on trying to find another family that will be traveling soon to China/GZ to deliver our family's photo book to our in-country guide.  That's a picture of the front cover, at the top of this post.  We plan to have set up, that the guide will deliver a birthday cake and goodies enough for a group of the children and their ayis to share and celebrate his birthday.  There he will give Ming our photo book, in hopes that the ayis will look at it with him and help prepare his little heart and mind over the next couple months before meeting us.  

Continue to keep us and the adoption process in your prayers, if you would please.  Share our posts/blog posts/adopttogether site with your friends and family.  The adopttogether site is still up and running as well as our PayPal account for any donations.  

I think I'm going to turn in guys.  I'm tired!!!! 😴   Sweet dreams!

Adoption Update

Good Afternoon Everyone,
I wanted to update you all on the current happenings.  It's going well and we are so thankful for all your prayers and good thoughts.  😊  As I shared with you before, we were able to expedite Ming's file through our USCIS.  Our documents were also processed quickly at DC through the Chinese Embassy.  Tuesday the 29th, our authenticated documents were then sent to China to join our dossier. At this point, we were able to request that our in-country guide speak with the orphanage that Ming is at if they were willing to speak with the CCCWA (China) about medically expediting his processing.  This allows us to keep working towards getting him home as soon as possible so he can receive the medical care that he needs.  This expedite request level, is a little trickier because we are now asking another country with different cultural and government beliefs and operations.  China is a very proud country and rich in cultural heritage and beliefs.  I believe that Ming is at an orphanage that cares for their children and wants the best for them, but the harsh reality is that their means to provide the medical care and the medical care itself are not the same as the US standards. China has a blood shortage.  Ming is an orphan.  So even I can do that math, and I am really BAD at math!  He is getting blood transfusions, but often what happens is they are only transfused the bare minimum amount and frequency to keep them from being fatally ill.  This poses all kinds of medical risks: he likely feels run down or even lethargic most the time (unless he was just transfused), he is more susceptible to illness/infections.  Ming acquiring an infection and with a low hemoglobin level could be potentially fatal for him.  Beta Thalassemia Major children (receiving monthly blood transfusions) should also be on chelation medication to help their body rid of the build up of iron from the frequent transfusions.  Orphans in China do not get this chelation medication.  They cannot afford it.  When this iron builds up in their bodies over years time, it settles in the liver and then the heart.  Ultimately if not managed (medication mgmt.), these organs will go into failure and the child/individual will die.  There is an expression, that Thalassemia is a death sentence if you live in China.  😢
All these children, orphans, need to come home as soon as possible, there is no doubt about it!  And there are some medically frail, even actively dying orphans that some families are frantically racing to get to China in time to get their child the medical attention that they in the US can give that child a fighting chance.  Leading pediatric hematology specialists have research and documentation to support that the sooner that children with thalassemia are properly transfused and treated/managed with chelation medication the better their overall health and quality of life will be (less secondary and tertiary side effects/impairments).  So this is why we, Ming's family is trying everything we can to process paperwork as quickly as we are allowed.  We are now his voice and his parents, therefore we will fight for him.  I am already so thankful that we have been able to expedite things so far......  And a special little angel has been helping facilitate communication for us to China for this next step.  Our in-country guide did ask the orphanage about us medically expediting Ming, and they agreed to go the the CCCWA in Bejing and ask.😬 (these are the BIG guys)  This is a BIG deal.  There are many orphanages that will NOT do this.  So I am very grateful that his SWI and orphanage director is willing to ask.  I would like to ask you village, to join us in praying for this next step.  I am praying that the CCWA will find favor in our request and agree to process his file quickly.

While all that is going on over there in China, we are still trying to raise the funds necessary to keep pace with the adoption process and fees.  We are a long way away from being fully funded, and unfortunately I have not heard anything back from 3 grants that I applied for😔.
You may have noticed, we have our T-shirt sales going on and will continue with those for awhile. (see link at right side).  The picture at the top of this post is Doug modelling his new shirt.  I have received nothing but positive feedback from those people that have purchased their shirts already.  I was so happy with the designs and their quality, that we decided to add some youth sizes and an additional sweatshirt. (because this sweatshirt is amazingly soft-I'm NOT lying or exaggerating either.  You ALL need one!😄)
One of our dear friends, Jackie Sherwood, we traveled with on our first trip to adopt Tingzi has offered to organize and run an online auction for us.  These are fun, and very popular amongst the international adoption community.  You may have seen a few of her fb posts that she is collecting items to donate (gift cards, homemade items, crafts, products, services, clothing, gifts, jewelry, hair bows, etc.).  She will upload photographs of your donated items into her auction album.  We will be inviting you all to the online auction group just prior to it launching, Sept. 12-19th.  Once it launches, you will be able to view and shop from the comfort of your home.  It will also be open to the "public" so please share the link/group on ALL of your timelines so we can get more people exposed to the auction and potential sales.  The items will be won by the highest bidder of each item.  Winners will be invoiced by Jackie.  Once paid, the item will be shipped out to the winner from the person that donated the item.  Sound interesting and fun.......it is!  So don't miss it!  And please if you are able to donate something to be auctioned off, please contact me or Jackie!
Always feel free to share our story with your friends and family.  Share our PayPal link or AdoptTogether link for donations to help us offset the financial challenges we are faced to complete the adoption.

We will continue to keep you posted.  Thank you again village for taking this journey with us.  we are getting there......Mama and BaBa are coming for you little Ming Ming, I promise!

Back to School and Update

Well it's back to school time!  Some of your children may have already started?  I'm sad to have the Summer over, but there is also some comfort in the routine of the school year.  My kids are excited to start back, so that's GOOD!  Hopefully I will be the only one shedding tears the first week back-lol lol.  I wanted to get this post/update out to you since my schedule will definitely be getting busier with school back in session.  😫  I will still keep you up to date with milestones and fundraising opportunities to help us with, but I will not be as active during the daytimes on social media.  Know that just because you may not see me post everyday, there is ALWAYS ALOT going on behind the scenes for the adoption process.  Our hard work to complete paperwork as soon as we are timely able according to the process, is an ongoing process.  And this Mama is doing everything I can to get our little baby boy home as soon as the process will allow!  Please still keep praying for our process and for our son's health while he waits.  I have applied for a couple more grants, but don't have any idea if we were accepted or not at this point?  We still have the largest part of our adoption expenses lying ahead of us.  We still owe our agency about $5,000. and then we will have the travel and in-country expenses/fees to pay in order to complete the adoption in the amount of ~$19,000.  So I am keeping the faith that He will continue to see us through these large financial challenges.  You have all been so wonderful and supportive in your donations, participating in our fundraiser sales, and just staying engaged with our process.  Doug and I are humbled by your choice to walk beside us on this beautiful and miraculous journey of LOVE.  Please don't stop, and I hope you don't loose interest.  I know it's a long process- believe me no one knows more than ME!😣  You won't regret following along, I promise!  You can continue to help us tackle our fees by either donating to our AdoptTogether site (link at the side of this page), and/or donate to our PayPal address at WaldmanAdoption@hotmail.com.  Keep an eye out for the current or ongoing fundraising events. And above all, please keep our family in your prayers.  *Pray specifically for financial provision to complete the adoption, the health of Ming, speedy process to get him home, and balance within our existing family while we work so hard to get him HOME!

Excitingly, we did receive an update on him today.  There really was no new information about him developmentally that we did not already know.  Unfortunately it did say he had been fevered the past couple days, but this a.m. his fever had resolved?😷  So of course, I quickly responded that if he became ill and needed to be hospitalized if they would please notify us and keep us up to date. (for what it's worth??? Sadly-probably not much.  But I felt like I had to say it.😝)  The measurements they provided were: weight= 21 lbs (lost a lb from last update), his foot measures=11cm, 24 teeth, chest=47cm, head=45cm, height=80cm.  With the exception of his feet, he's a little guy😍 lol lol

First thing Doug texted me was, "What are they doing to my boy putting him in Hello Kitty girl clothes!!!!😱"  LMBO  Oh Doug...!😂 

Current Fundraising Opportunities to help our Adoption of Ming:

1) For the months of Aug.-Nov. Laura Shankel is graciously booking mini and full photo sessions and donating 50% of each sessions' price towards our adoption.  Please contact her today to book your family's photos 330-604-3283  Laurashankel@gmail.com

2) Sharon Jackson is offering a DoTerra workshop this coming Sat. as an Introduction to Essential Oils.  She is donating her 100% of her sales commissions towards Ming's adoption.  She has also created an event pg. on FB, so anyone that is not interested in the course, but would like to order some oils can contact her, and she will place the order on behalf of our adoption. https://www.mydoterra.com/sharonajackson/#/  You must notify her via email Sjackson1075@gmail.com if you want your purchase's commission to be put towards our adoption. Thanks.

3) We will continue to offer our Tshirts/Tank/Sweatshirts Sales. So please visit our store for styles, design, pricing, and ordering.  http//waldmancraigheadadoption.bigcartel.com (hyperlink also at the right side of this pg.)

4) DONATE

I will leave you with this precious video of Ming.  These pictures and videos are priceless to us families that are in the LONG process of waiting to bring our child HOME!

Adoption Triad

Good Evening Everyone,

I want to thank all of you that participated and helped us assemble our precious puzzle picture of Ming!  I just love how it turned out, and even more meaningful are all my friends and family represented on the backs of the puzzle pieces.  It is so moving and amazing to see how each one of you have helped in different areas and times of our fundraising thus far, and Doug and I are so appreciative and grateful.  What an AWESOME village we have gathered here.  And you are all moving mountains, and will help us cross oceans to bring our son HOME so he can get the necessary medical care that he needs to thrive.  Thank you <3

Some people have asked about our T-shirts sales, so I wanted to share with you the inspiration behind the designs we helped create. The adoption community loves a good adoption inspired T-shirt, but with that being said there are a lot out there all the time for us to order and help support other families in the process.  So as you can imagine there is a little challenge to come up with something original and that will appeal to others.  We discovered very early-on in our first adoption process, the adoption symbol or triad.  (Probably because my husband likes tattoos, and he thought there could be some cool tattoo designs made with this symbol incorporated-lol.) 

Adoption is a very complex system with very deep and mixed feelings with all the individuals touched by it, throughout the gamete of their lives.  Adoption doesn't even exist without great loss, and there are three primary sides affected by adoption.  

There are the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the child; thus for the triangle symbol.  There are so many different emotions and situations that lead birthparents to the decision of adoption.  There is often great shame, fear, desperation, feelings of hopelessness, and even sometimes relief once they know their child will be loved and provided for.  But regardless of the circumstances and the ultimate decision, most a birthparents express that that they feel great loss and grief over their child. Birthdays of the child often bring back these feelings for a birthmother, year after year.

The second side of the triad: many people assume that the adoptive parents only experience excitement and anticipation of their adopted child.  Many adopted parents have waited and worked for years to complete an adoption.  Sometimes, the adoptive parents have had years of dealing with infertility or even loss of a child.  Adoptive parents develop very intense feelings and emotions throughout the long and trying adoption process.  Some adoptive parents/mothers even experience postpartum depression once they have adopted the child due to making the shift from the desire and dream of that child that they have worked so hard for, and now the reality of that child and how it has changed their family.  

Third, is the child themself.  Research has shown and more importantly we have heard from the voices of adoptees themselves, that one of the most important responsibilities parents hold for their child is their attitude they take towards adoption. Open and honest communication is vital when wanting to foster positive self-esteem and pride in their heritage.  

We have learned from adoptees that when families either overtly or passively communicate that adoption was not a topic for discussion, they grew up with a sense of shame about the secret and a perception of themselves as a second-rate citizen.  In addition, we now understand that beyond the initial loss of their birth family, there is also the loss associated with all the unanswered questions - what their parents looked like and why they were put up for adoption. 

In contrast to living the life of avoidance or a secret, adoptees have told professionals that when they grew up in families that celebrated adoption and the creative way they became a family, instills respect in self.  Including birth family knowledge and heritage communicated with honor, respect, and the attention that it deserves, says to the child that he/she and all that was involved in their becoming who they are is of utmost value.

Most important aspect of the adoption triad, it the heart, symbolizing how the three (birthparents, adoptive parents, and child) are forever intertwined.  They all represent the new family.  The birthparents give genetic gifts, the gift of ancestors, and their gift of the child.  The adoptive parents give their open hearts and arms.  The child unites both sets of these parents as a beautiful and unique creation both containing and binding together their heritage and their experiences.  

Now of course, when written in such simplicity adoption sounds so beautiful and easy, but adoption is NOT.  It's not for any of the triad.  Each family situation, as the individuals involved in the triad are unique and special and have to work through things differently and at their own pace.  This is also why many adoptive families speak of their "adoption journey" because adoption is just that.  Life and the new family is not set once the adoption if finalized.  These are individuals with an unknown history, a void, and often times scars from their life experiences thus far.  Healing, acceptance, trust, and unconditional love takes time by all the parties.  But most all adoptive families will tell you that no matter how arduous some families' journeys are, the child is always worth it.  There is hope, that beautiful healing can blossom even from a very broken start. And LOVE really is, what makes a family!

If you are interested in ordering or seeing our T Shirt designs, please visit our shop for the various shirt styles, colors, designs, and ordering.  (Portion of each sale to benefit our adoption.)

Click on the hyperlink at the right side of the blog. 

  or visit https://waldmancraigheadadoption.bigcartel.com 

Brittany's Hope Grant - increased!

Not sure if you read our last update from our AdoptTogether page? I shared that our family had been selected to receive a grant from Brittany's Hope, an affiliate program with Madison Adoption Associates.  Doug and I were going to sign the agreement and go get it notarized this weekend, when we received another email from them just Wednesday telling us that they had increased our grant another thousand dollars!!!!!!  Can you believe that!?!?  We originally were notified of it being for $5,000.  So we understood that we would be responsible to raise 1/2 of that amount and donate it to Brittany's Hope.  They would then confirm the donations raised and extend the total adoption grant to our adoption agency towards our fees/expenses.  Them raising our grant to $6,000. means we are responsible to fundraise $3,000.  That is the exact amount that our puzzle fundraiser will bring in when it is completely assembled!
Speaking of that.......have you seen our precious little guy's picture lately????  It's coming together thanks to all you donors sponsoring puzzle pieces.  Just look at him....he's so beautiful!

 I get all warm and fuzzy everytime I go downstairs to update the puzzle.  I'm doing this in my storage room of our basement, lol lol.  If you had 2 toddlers and 9 year old that is consistently kicking a soccer ball or shooting baskets around your house-YOU would TOO!  Plus it's quiet down there.  I think it's my time with him right now <3  Thank you for your warm wishes and little messages on your sponsored pieces.  I can't wait to talk to him about each and everyone of you, and your connection with our family and now part of his homecoming.

It's interesting, since Lanzi has come home, we find ourselves talking about our meeting them (our girls) in China, what we did, what their gifts were we brought them, how old they were........etc often. They will even quarrel over whose China it is, "My China."  "No, it's my China!"  lol lol  I even heard Lanzi telling Tingzi today that she was adopted from China.  I stopped dead in my tracks to see what next was going to come out of that little mouth of hers......  I had never heard either one of them yet say that before.  That girl amazes me!  She is only 3, but wiser than her years!  Then, at dinner, we somehow ended up in conversation again about them being from China and Lanzi asked if Jace was too?  I said, "No......"  And she of course was quick to ask, "Why not?"  Doug and I exchanged nervous looks as to say, OK who is going to take the lead on this one???? 😬  I of course, continued with, "He was born from Mommy's tummy."  What Doug and I were perceiving as a delicate conversation and trying to choose our words wisely, quickly took a turn to funny, thankfully.  Lanzi quickly made a disgusting sound and face as though she was appalled by that image!  LMBO. 😂 "Were we born in your tummy?"  "No...... you girls grew in my HEART!"  "Aaahhhh," she said.  "I love you with all my heart Mommy!"  💗💗
Tingzi and Lanzi both love watching their Gotcha day videos and looking through their lifebooks, frequently.  This puzzle will definitely be something that _____, I'm sure will also want to look at and talk about often with us.  (You notice, I left his name out?  Aren't you just dying of curiosity?)
Well come on folks, let's keep this puzzle reveal going.  1) I want to be able to refer to him by his name  2) We all now have a goal to reach ($3,000.) and then Brittany's Hope will match it!  That is such a blessing!  Each of you sponsors are a part of making that grant happen.  We can do this!
Only $10./puzzle piece, and you can send your sponsor/donation via our PayPal account  WaldmanAdoption@hotmail.com or you can send it via our Adopt Together page (see the link at the side of this blog.  Sponsor a piece for each member of your family, or from your children.  Feel free to put your message or your family's name(s) in the comments section of your donation.

You are already so loved, my son.  And there are a lot of people gathering to watch your story unfold and help bring you HOME!
Love,
Mama, Baba, Jace, Ting, & Lanzi  XOXO
                     and your Village